reyofsunshine | IC inbox

An expression of surprise and confusion crosses Rey's face as she looks first at Kylo and then at the box he scoots across the table toward her. It takes a moment before she realizes what it is, but when she does her face splits into a delighted smile.

"Is this—did you get me a birthday present?"

She doesn't even open the box for a second or two, just holds it gently in her gloved hands like the very idea of receiving a gift tied with a ribbon is exciting. Which is it. But she realizes the wrapping is probably not usually the most thrilling part of all this, so finally she does nimbly untie the ribbon and open the box. Almost immediately upon revealing the robe inside, the sunlight brightens around her to the point where the shiny bits of fabric are impossible to miss, and Rey wastes no time ripping off her gloves and pulling the garment gingerly out of the box to admire it.

She does unfortunately forget to verbally respond, but the sparkling fabric will hopefully speak for itself regarding her feelings about it.

Even if they weren't on emotion planet, it would have been easy to tell just how pleased she was with the gift, and it brings a warmth to the air around them as a few green plants emerge under the table.

"It's not subtle, but it's practical enough for everyday things," he replies, cursing himself internally for not thinking about if Rey would want attention. Even so, he's not terribly annoyed about his lack of forethought, since he doesn't think people should be ignoring Rey anyway. And she seems to like it, which is the most important thing.

"It's beautiful," she says breathlessly. "Much too beautiful for every day."

She doesn't seem like she's complaining, at least, since she's certainly still smiling. He's right about it not being subtle, though. Scavengers don't wear soft, lovely clothes that shine brilliantly in the sunlight. It's nice to pretend every so often, though. She finally pulls her eyes away from the robe and back to Kylo's face to grin at him almost a bit slyly.

"I'm not sure you'd know what practical really means. But thank you, Kylo. Really."

A nearly offended frown comes to his face when she expresses her doubt, and it stays even through the thanks. Sure, it's nice that she still likes it, but he doesn't want it to go to waste as something she simply stares at in her wardrobe thinking about how nice it would be to wear somewhere.

Not to mention it's sort of an insult to him, like he doesn't know about practicality.

"It's made of a material that will last and you can carry things in it. How is it not practical?"

Her smile fades as soon as she sees him frowning, and a confused expression takes its place. She isn't sure what she said to insult him, but she certainly didn't intend to do so. Rey looks down at the robe in her hands briefly and then back up at Kylo, unsure of how to explain what she means.

"It doesn't exactly blend in," she replies, as though that's all the explanation that's needed.

Kylo couldn't blend in even if he tried, not with that massive, towering frame, striking face, and dramatically fluffy hair. But he doesn't need to. There's pride in how he carries himself, and there's a good reason why the sleek and flashy cape Rey bought for him suits him so well. Rey, on the other hand, is perfectly comfortable blending in. Sleek and shiny and flashy things don't suit a scavenger, no matter how lovely she thinks they are. Surely Kylo understands this... doesn't he?

If Rey were to voice those thoughts, Kylo would entirely disagree. Whatever Rey likes and looks good suits her, as far as he's concerned, whether it's flashy or dull.

"Is it absolutely necessary for you to be anonymous?" he asks, an incredulous tilt to his head. "Why is it important for people not to notice you?"

Perhaps it was necessary back on Jakku, and he would have no problem accepting that. But in Verens, there are so many absurd looking people even among the natives that one shiny looking cloak will hardly make that much of an impression, and even if it does, it's not like that would be a bad thing.

Rey's eyebrows twitch in a confused expression. He thinks she's concerned about making people not notice her? About staying anonymous?

"There's not much to notice."

Surely he knows that. He knows she's just a scavenger. A nobody from nowhere. She doesn't go out of her way to go unnoticed. It's simply the way things are.

"It just wouldn't match."

Something tells Kylo there's more to this than a simple wardrobe change, and he stops himself before suggesting it, instead scrutinizing her for a moment. Well, he supposes the easiest way to figure out what she means is:

"Wouldn't match what, exactly?"

Rey's shoulders hunch in equal parts embarrassment and dismay. Does he really not get it? She thought he'd understand, but clearly having so many fine things himself has made it impossible for him to realize why others aren't suited to them. Rey could kick herself for even bringing it up in the first place.

"Just... me," she replies, obviously exasperated. She looks down at the robe again, which is now twinkling much less brightly, and shakes her head.

"Forget it. It isn't important."

He most certainly is not going to forget it.

"The only reason it wouldn't 'match you' is if you didn't like it."

Sure, he can admit it might take adjusting to, being a nobody from nowhere with nothing to suddenly have nice things and be noticed. But it's not as if change is impossible. Seeing her cling to that identity just makes him want to shatter the idea into pieces. If only it were so easy.

He can try, anyway.

"Do you still think so little of yourself?" he asks, leaning forward, resting his forearms against the table.

She looks up again immediately after his question, clearly surprised. That's much closer to the truth than she suspected he understood, which has... different implications for all of his questions. Rey's not entirely ready to explore those implications, at least not without more information, but she can't help the handful of sharp, bright twinkles that reflect off the cloak.

"I don't," she says, though it doesn't feel quite like the right answer to his question, so she elaborates.

"I just—I know where I fit. What I am. I have pride in that, I do, but." But a scavenger's pride isn't worth all that much, isn't it? Rey swallows, and her eyes dart away from his.

"I know what I'm not. Liking something doesn't change that."

To Kylo it doesn't seem much like pride at all. All he can see is her clinging to the past like a security blanket, staying under its comfort despite the obvious advantages of leaving it behind.

"You're not chained to what you were before," he replies, an almost earnest look in his eyes despite the furrow in his brow.

"You can change. Be more than just a scavenger. You already are, you just don't see it."

Rey keeps her eyes averted... until his last sentence.

Being told she could be more sounds honestly like wishful thinking. On her part or Kylo's, she's not sure. She thinks maybe they have different ideas of that "more" he says she could be, anyway. But it's a very different thing, she decides, to be told she already is more than she thinks she is, and by someone so obviously special and important himself to boot. For a moment Rey looks back at him with an unguarded, surprised affection before she drags her eyes away, swallowing when she realizes her face must be turning red. The robe twinkling so brightly it looks almost like sparks doesn't help.

"I didn't tell you why I picked that day for my birthday," she says softly.

"It was because I thought if there was any day where I could just pretend I wasn't nothing, that I was somebody important, it would've been that day. I have two of those days now, I guess."

It strikes him in a way that he can't quite define, when she explains her reasoning. In a way he can't relate to it, having always been aware of the power he's had and the things he's capable of. But in others, he does understand. In his mind, he's been discarded just as she was, made to feel unimportant. The difference between them is that Rey accepted it as truth and Kylo refused to believe it.

Certainly in a way she might seem like "nothing," a scavenger from a dead planet in the middle of nowhere, with no past connections to anyone who means anything. But she's already proven herself to be something. She proved that the moment she resisted his attempts to get the map, even if now there's so much more to it than that.

Even if she's turned her gaze away, Kylo keeps his eyes on her, trying to lean in a way that will catch her attention.

"You don't have to pretend."

And catch her attention he does. Not that at any point he didn't have her attention—Rey is always exceedingly aware of that intense gaze when he's looking at her—but tilting his head to put his face a small but very noticeable amount closer to her own does succeed in getting her to meet his eyes again.

Rey opens her mouth to reply to him, but she can't think of anything to actually say, so she just closes it again and swallows thickly. What is she meant to say to that, really? What do normal people say in response to things like this? Do these things even happen to normal people? Part of Rey suspects not, but it's unexpectedly hard to think clearly when staring into a pair of terribly sincere brown eyes belong to a person saying things like that in that voice with his face at most a foot away.

"Your voice sounds so nice when you say things like that."

And then she realizes what she's said, and she nearly averts her eyes again before moving them back to his. There's no point in looking away if he's just going to move so she can see him, despite her embarrassment.

"I mean—thank you. For saying it. I appreciate it."

Edited (wehhhhhhhh) 2018-01-31 06:08 (UTC)

Kylo doesn't seem to know how to respond for a moment, straightening up slightly and a hesitant, curious look in his eyes. Compliments always seem so... out of place when they're directed towards him, even after all this time with people who might reasonably be expected to give them to him. In a way, it's almost uncomfortable.

He clears his throat, his own gaze flicking away just for a moment as well, but he shakes his head to dismiss the thanks as unneeded.

"It's true." That's the only reason he's saying it. Obviously. ~~It's not like there are feelings involved or anything.~~

Uhh, anyway. To distract from the current topic for both of their sakes, Kylo turns his attention to the other unopened box and moves it towards her with one hand.

"A tradition for birthdays here," he mumbles vaguely, as if it will explain that there's a cupcake inside before she opens it.

Her brow creases at his reaction. It's oddly easy to forget that Kylo doesn't get positive attention too often—the reasons he should are so obvious to Rey she assumes others must see them too. Maybe they do. Maybe they just make the same mistake of thinking that everyone else will be the ones to say it, and the result is that no one ever does. She feels a pang of sadness about that, but before she can even begin to address it, Kylo's moved on and pushed the second box toward her.

Well, in any case, Rey makes a mental note to compliment him more in the future. Even if it's embarrassing. If she's going to be one of the few who do, she owes it to him to pick up the slack for everyone else. Especially after this.

"What I said was true too," she replies simply, gently replacing the robe in its box and reaching for the second gift as an excuse to avert her eyes and maybe preserve some of her dignity. And without waiting for any sort of response, Rey opens the smaller box and is immediately distracted by what's inside.

"Oh! It's a little cake!"

The cake itself is pink in color, although Rey won't know that means it's strawberry flavored, and it's decorated with a simple swirl of white icing and a few flower-shaped sprinkles. It's not exactly a custom thing, just a suggestion from the bakery he'd visited to get something for her, but it's nice enough to look at.

"I don't know what you like," Kylo admits somewhat lamely. He's... fairly certain that anything with any amount of taste in it will be nice in her book, but on the other hand, it could be that some flavors are too strong because of what she's used to. Even if he doesn't know the details of what exactly she ate back on Jakku, he doubts it was any better than First Order rations.

... well, he just has to hope. It's not like he'll have to wait that long.

Rey can't help laughing at Kylo's awkward disclaimer. "Liking" food is still so new to her that the very thought of receiving such a treat and rejecting it is hilariously unthinkable.

"If it's half as good as it looks it'll be delicious," she says quickly, so he doesn't start thinking she's laughing at him. She takes a chance and leans forward a bit to place her hand over his, the one he'd used to shove the cake toward her, closing the distance between them again back to where it was when he was trying to get her attention.

"You know me. I trust you to know what I'd like."

Edited (i spell steambucks as steampunks every time and i ruined my own joke so i had to fix it) 2018-02-18 22:02 (UTC)

Kylo can't help but turn to look away with the combination of her comments and the hand on his own, and though his fingers curl in slightly, he doesn't pull away. The most he does is bring his shoulders up slightly, as if to defend himself against the sheepishness. (It doesn't work.)

Really, the main thing to it is the declaration that he knows her. Even though he's aware that he knows her better than most people, logically, oftentimes he still doesn't feel like he knows enough. He can't predict what she'll think or what she'll do. It makes him uncertain, especially with more personal things like gifts.

He presses his lips together and mumbles a response.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

In all fairness, Rey can rarely predict herself. Then again, she doesn't exactly try. She acts on impulses, and she doesn't particularly care to change that about herself. It hasn't led her too astray so far.

Rey watches Kylo turn his face away, and a part of her heart aches to see him so unwilling to accept affection even after what he's done for her. Why does he keep hiding? What does she have to do to make her feelings clear to him? To make him see that he's good enough to deserve those feelings?

She doesn't think, she just acts... and closes the small amount of distance left between them to give him a quick peck on the cheek. It's his unscarred one, she notes idly, which is probably good. Kissing the side she sliced open seems odd. ~~Though also somehow appealing...?~~ She doesn't even wait until she's fully pulled away before she answers his question, so the first few words end up murmured an inch or two from his face.

"For you to stop hiding."

There's a twitch in his face after Rey starts to pull away, and all trace of the sheepishness from before disappears as his expression goes blank, a low ringing sounding in the air as if they'd suddenly gone deaf for a moment.

Kylo struggles to stop himself from thinking or feeling much of anything, already far too aware of the dangers in the direction any of them could go. It's because of that—and trying against Rey's request to hide the turmoil he's sure he can't keep from his eyes—that he can't bring himself to look at her, hoping for the briefest of moments that he can pretend things haven't come this far. He doesn't want to think about yet another person he's come to care for like this returning to detesting him back home, even if he won't remember it himself. And that's... without the other complications, as if there weren't enough in the first place.

But already it's too late to pretend. It doesn't mean he has any idea of how to deal with the situation, however; his mouth parts slightly in a subconscious desire to try, but his uncertainty stops any words from leaving him as his eyes flick downwards.

Rey hasn't even pulled fully away before she can tell that something is wrong.

She wasn't expecting Kylo to be happy, at least no more than he ever looks overly happy when she shows any affection for him. But he usually seems grudgingly pleased, like she's fulfilling a desire he desperately doesn't want to admit that he has.

This isn't grudgingly pleased. Or pleased at all, maybe. Rey's brow creases in concern, and a non-small amount of confused dread flickers through her eyes. Still, she refuses to draw back completely or take her hand off his. She doesn't want to lose that connection unless she has to.

"Kylo?" she says uncertainly, her voice echoing oddly in her ears around that odd, awful ringing. She curls her fingers around his much larger hand, hoping to get attention again somehow but afraid to do much more.

It's not terribly often that he's at a loss for words when he's reaching for them—either he simply has nothing to say or would much rather show rather than tell—but with Rey it seems to be a frequent occurrence. Perhaps it wouldn't be if she didn't keep being the source of such confusing, difficult feelings, both in the sense of emotions and otherwise.

Kylo doesn't pull his hand away either, not wanting to push her away despite the small thought that he should, but there's a certain anxiety in his gaze when his eyes meet hers, when she questions him. His jaw trembles as he stares at her, knowing he has to say something. But still nothing comes to him.

Something's changed, Rey realizes, and she doesn't think it was for the better. Rather, it feels like she's broken something, something that was terribly precious but far, far more fragile than she ever thought. The dread in her expression grows steadily closer to alarm and mild panic the longer his silence persists, and she drags her eyes from his face to glance miserably down at the cloak he gave her.

He told her she was more than a scavenger. He said she didn't have to pretend she was important. He insisted she shouldn't think so little of herself. She thought she was just responding to that, but she sees the truth now.

She doesn't blame him for saying that when clearly now it's proven to be untrue. He was obeying the rules of the game. He understood the rules. No, she blames herself for buying into her stupid fantasies. She slipped up and for a brief, idiotic moment, she actually believed she was more than a scavenger.

But Rey will always be a scavenger. And Kylo will always be the child of heroes, blood of legends, and everything she's not. Fortunately, Rey's years as a scavenger have taught her how to repair broken things. She snatches her hand away from his, deciding maybe it'll be easier if they just ignored what happened—and hopefully he'll ignore the sand she's left behind on his hand—and picks up the cupcake to shove half the thing in her mouth.

"It's good," she mumbles automatically around a mouthful of cake.

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trudges in a week late with steambucks

takes the steambucks and drinks the whole cup while making direct eye contact with you

sweats

dominance established

i wanted that steambucks........

well too bad bc i drank it

:T...!

>8D

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